me myself and i

2008-11-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

so many bdays in the month of november and so little working shifts this month. wtf is wrong man. any viewers interested in robbing a bank pls call me

2008-10-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Who knows what true happiness is, not the conventional word. but the naked terror. To the lonely themselves, that wears a mask, the most miserable outcast hugs some memory. or some illusion.

2008-10-08T00:22:00.000-07:00

laugh like a cb cause there is nothing about me or my life to blog about

okayy bye

2008-08-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

Just ask the question come untie the knot

Say you won't care, say you won't care

Retrace the steps as if we forget

Say you won't care, say you won't care

Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt

And there's one thing I can do nothing about

and yes i knew. i really needed a time off. something i never for a long time to come.

2008-07-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

The courage of life is a magnificent mixture triumph and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences... in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures.. and that is the basis of all morality

2008-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.

2008-07-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

i can't believe im listening to songs that are nice but in actual fact its fcuking swa ku of me cause these songs are so old school(long ago people already have). whatever im being random. i haven't blogged for ages but life is still a bitch u know. failing 3 common tests ----> fucking common but sad still. dont know dont care

see those 2 bitch behind, no actually im the bitch they are the innocent ones. GREAT SUPPER NIGHT!!

2008-06-04T07:58:00.000-07:00

Time flies by
With the sound of your voice
It's close to paradise
With the end surely near
And if I could only stop the car
And hold onto you
And never let go
I'll never let go
As we round the corner to your house
You turn to me and said
"I'll be going through withdrawal of you For this one night we have spent."
And I want to speak these words
But I guess i'll just bite my tongue
And accept someday, somehow
As our words that we'll hang from
And I I don't wanna speak these words
Cause I I don't wanna make things any worse
Why does tonight have to end?
Why dont we hit restart
And pause it at our favorite parts
We'll skip the goodbyes
If I had it my way I'd turn the car around
And run away
Just you and I

2008-05-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

YOU AND ME IS WHAT MATTERS MOST
ITS NOT THE INTIMACY
THAT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO YOU

2008-05-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

ACTING RETARDED IN CLASS. FCUKING ORANISATIONAL MANAGEMENT CLASS SUCK TO THE MAX. ITS A FREE AND EASY LESSON MAN THE LECTURER DOESN GIVE A RATS ASS TO WHAT THE FCUK WE DO. SO I GUESS OUR BRAIN DEVELOPED SOME SHIT TO TAKE SUCH PICTURES. ENJOY!!

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
Im still driving away
And Im sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I wont always live... Stop it...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seems Ill be 23
I wont always love what Ill never have
I wont always live in my regrets

2008-04-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

it was a bloody boring month, sch started and the modules are of course like shit
its meant for dogs to study but i dont know why humans are doing it now
ok whatever man BKK sucks, ok not really. the weather sucks, traffic sucks, air sucks, hygiene sucks but the only place to live like a fcuking emperor.
finally got my contact lenses. sucked. my eyes red like shit. it took me an hour to put in one side only sounds pathetic but whatever.
pics to share enough of complaining =)

ok heres more. what else. i screw up alot lately? always happen so forget it
and i can't believe lollipop was at MOS today. like wtf free entry to SP students.
i can imagine the whole campus coming down, i think they would need the whole police academy to raid the entire MOS. bloody sch so big give free entry sure die. and why am i insulting my school i don't know why ohwells fuck. HAHA and one last thing I GOT OVERPAID WHOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who gives a fuck anyway right ok bye!

2008-03-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

ok this sounds kinda stupid but im fcuking boring right now. schedule at work has been pretty crappy this month and im thinking about transferring but fcuk no. have been spending quite alot and i suddenly feel that this holiday is pretty short for me. im not earning enough and im not getting enough. freaking underpaid for the coming pay really sucks to the core. shag to the core hardcore feel like shit man. ending here. cant take all this anymore.

I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change ,I know now, this is who I really am inside. Finally found myself fighting for a chance

2008-03-02T07:12:00.001-08:00

WITHIN THE RED DOTE A TOWN CALLED BUKIT PURMEI

LIVED A MAN WHO WENT THROUGH STORMS WHICH SHAPE HIM TO A MAN HE IS.

FOR THAT, DONT JUDGE HIM LIKE AN UNREAD BOOK CAUSE U MAY NOT BE ABLE TO READ HIM.

BANA I STILL LOVE U DONT COME AFTER ME!

DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST BIRTHDAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

THANKS TO ALL, YOUR PRESENCE, GIFTS, CELEBRATION WAS APPRECIATED BY AKU.

I LOVE U GUYS MAN .

RANDOM PICS! FROM DAY1 -4

DAY 1- JULIAN AND GANG.

DAY 2- DANNY AND CO.

DAY 3- MS

DAY 4- POLY!!!!!!(DONT EVER GO TO FISH AND CO FOR YOUR BDAY)

2008-02-12T10:18:00.000-08:00

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back/but I know you did
I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own, oh
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight (one more chance tonight)
I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not gettin' me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did
And I didn't mean to meet you then we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

2008-01-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

hahaha long awaited job finally. sorry guys i know i have been MIA-ing alot i promise to catch up when im having my off days. seriously with or without off i will be having exams real soon time table is alr out and im feeling kinda scared though. who cares enjoy first week or school first. than cheong ( if possible if not retain only =x) and bridget is really crazy, FYI she brought almost her entire family to gap. and u really gave me a shock. anw thanks also at least see some familiar face quite relaxed. and compliments to my buddy (IVY ONG) thanks for the job intro.

.
small eye freak said i didnt put any of her pics on my blog so aku put one big big one majiam portrait on my blog today ok!!
anw this pic was taken when the dinosaurs died now than u send aku =x nvm i will still put here on my blog ok =)

2007-12-16T13:18:00.000-08:00

So here I am, sitting alone in the dark again. What a perfect fucking metaphor and I'm so tired of this I know I have no reason to feel this pain but Of course I can't stop it now. It's nights like this when I don't want to hear solutions. And my dreams just tease me ,with promises of a better tomorrow. That isn't today yet and patience isn't one of my virtues. What, you mean this isn't normal for me? Either I'm damn good at hiding this or I spend a lot more time than I like to think. Lost in my head. Angst may be fashionable these days, but I'd much rather be a happy geek

2007-12-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

I didn't cry the day you moved away. I didn't think that I could feel this pain. Until I saw the stranger that was you. Whatever happened to our innocence. And the somethin' that you said about being friends. Tell me how. Help me say the words out loud. Could it be. That nothings gonna change. Cause time has got a way of taking back. Everything you thought you had. Can you see.The girl you used to be.The one I lost when I let go of you.

I need to wake up from this state of mind. The situation is the same kind. I gotta get your memory out of my head. Would you catch me if I had to fall. Would you even find the time for that at all. Tell me how. Help me say the words out loud.

2007-12-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

2001--->2004--->2007

what the hell man i still can't believe my classmates last year actually took my progress report to take a picture of my 2001 picture. ok fcuk that nerdy specs in the first picture. and that bloody 2007 pic is like shown in my new passport like for what i rather put my 2004 picture in it =( i look like a fcuking white asshole in that 2007 picture.

SPECIALLY FOR DANNY LAW!!!! for having a dick son like him. but his son is a cb =x
u know aku dont mean it i still love u babe HAHAHA

KTV session with danny qinglong ceya banana weijie and last but not least the invisible man hong wei i don know why i said that but maybe u know why HAHAHA. no la. my 2 brothers beside me loves to sing F4 meteor garden.

it was a surprise everyone appeared in button shirts that day. except ah law hahahaha
and it was supposed to be an all guys pic. but the guy in the extreme right seemed abit.......
HAAHAHA sorry la weijie.

just came home from zoukout, bloody hell the DJ anyhow mix the song aku also never listen before. he claims he is from philadelphia. but the music seems abit third world man =x . not that bad but still prefer krunk.

2007-12-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

those special moments, that feeling of untouchable wholeness, feeling complete. I remember it well, having so much to say to each other, never running out of words to say and always yearning to be together like there aren't enough hours in the day to spend together. Such a powerful connection, it somehow feels as if you're walking in the clouds and the world looks beautiful. Its all about keeping the momentum. So in this time of need when you're left scared and in pain, be aware that there is a way to take hold of that pain and change the way you look at it so that you can rise above the situation and make the best elements better, mend the wounds and begin to learn how to heal yourself faster.

2007-11-27T14:37:00.000-08:00

PRESENTATION DAY!!!! decided to take a few pictures of my fellow classmates.
suck man today. damn bloody tired right now. blog more tmrw

CLIFF AND DEVAN!!! NEW IMPORTS THIS SEMESTER!!

HIS NAME IS PRADEEP AND HE IS REALLY BL___

AND ALSO A MIXTURE OF 01 AND 02
MY FAVOURITE BOY I CALL HIM CHIPSMORE BUT I FEEL GUILTY RIGHT NOW =X

2007-11-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA ah lye's bday man and aku forgot to wish her so sorry man. but hope the steamboat was to your liking man. just take a look at boss in the second picture. he holds the camera like a professional, his smile so cute and he is like a god. killer smile. shi bu shi ernest.

3 drunk assholes. ok except bridget. crazy fellas create a din outside zouk. see the kelvin twist also cannot twist properly. see sern zhi smile like one pervert.

had dinner at turf city some chinese restaurant for justin's bday kinda ex though but the food was alright. sorry bro couldn accompany u all the way until the end of the celebration, got test and school the next day.

2007-11-05T04:25:00.000-08:00

THIS IS A GAY FRIEND OF MINE. OBSSESSED WITH HER OBVIOUSLY. GUYS DONT BE SHY GO TO MY TAGBOARD. HE NEEDS HELP. HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE LOOKS GOOD. JUST GIVE HIM 3 WORDS. EITHER YOU LOOK LIKE AH GUA OR YOU LOOK ALRIGHT BRO. BUMP FOR U

2007-11-05T04:11:00.000-08:00

GOD DAMN IT . at first i thought this celebrity wasn't much compared to fiona xie which boys are actually crazy over. but no i was bloody wrong she is DAMN. and i mean DAMN bloody hot and pretty. super hardcore. i couldn even smell any oil or food smell coming from the foodcourt and all that surrounds the bloody foodcourt is her perfume wtf man( ok over-ly exaggerated). ALRIGHT GUYS GUESS WHOSE AT SP TODAY??? not much of a big deal that she came actually but who would wanna miss the chance of seeing her walking around your school man. ok singapore is small we may see her coincidentally anywhere but fcuk i should have videoed how the people in my school reacted when they saw her. FYI, those are 2 hunks from my course, both my best friends namely joe(yellow gay fag colour) and sherman. the one in red forget it dont look at him.

2007-11-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

i should be going out like mad this week but guess what ytd was the first time this week i step into town. omg man. i cant believe i have been lazing around in school with presentation slides to complete, quiz to complete, homework to do. sucks man no holiday better. now i know how it feels to be having holidays alone. lucky got that blackie can talk cock with him. ur the man black. and cheer up carm most importantly look on the bright side man. hope u enjoyed yesterday with the 3 of us.

2007-10-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY NIGHT PICS, my bros on the first pic. fcuking cute right they all. ok sorry im gay. second pic is some gay supervisor called banana. the face with a shape of a dick. but im worst so i take back my words. haha. third pic, fcuking gay. no comments. plain gay-ism.

E - LEARNING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!
HELL LOT OF FUN DURING WEEKENDS
HELL LOT OF FUN THIS WEEK
HELL LOT OF HOMEWORK TO COMPLETE
HELL LOT OF TEST COMING
WHO GIVES A FUCK MAN

ok i may be the only one in class who doesn't give a damn but screw the tests not the rest. homework is fun i guess, multiple attempts for quizzes till i get full marks. ok screw homework also waste time.

FRIDAYS with danny("muscle" man wannabe), hongwei ( my favourite orh kia ), qinglong (hope he is alright but we are here bro we love u u know haahaha), ceya(fish head boy but aku love u still HAHA), banana(jiao lang jiao wei jiao tao),

had a great dinner at seoul garden and a great bowling session ( please dont tell people how i bowl) , pool and HOME FOR THEM, looked for julian after that.

WEEKENDS!!! abit screwed up, almost got drunk but it was ok had fun still drinking n chilling at cafeiguana.

AND TODAY MADE MY DAY, SOME GUY TRADED MY JEANS FOR A TEE. SOUNDS ABIT DUMB OF ME BUT FCUK IT MAN COOLEST TEE ON EARTH I SWEAR.
cheers

2007-10-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

as we search throughout life's journey
for the never ending road
our life is slipping by us
as each moment we go

looking for the answers to why we're here
while all the time
the answer is lying so near

we are here for each other
to make the journey dear
to cling to our togetherness
as our time draws near

for as the road ends
as surely it will
all remainds are our memories
that our journey did fill

the reflection of faces
instilled upon our mind
the journey was well worth our moment in time

sorry guys im feeling abit bored so i read up stuff like that online dont blame me for being so fucking lame i know i am. but sure does make me think of many things like the wonderful friends i have around me like zhi,kt,sean,des,bridget,cheryl,hongwei,danny,banana,julian etc... and they are absolutely the best i can ever find. and they make life alot more interesting. u guys totally rock. and im certainly lucky to have known u guys.

2007-10-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

AHHHHH i was lying when i said blogger was giving me problems and didn't update cause i was too lazy i guess. or perhaps tired ok whatever nobody cares but heres the thing. 3 weeks of school sucked like hell. the new lecturers screw up alot, whole new module whole new lecturers whole new bullshit so i had alot to complain for not being lucky enough to get better lecturers but how am i gonna live with this shit. pray hard nt to fail can already.

loads of pics to upload here. a preview of what i did when i didn't blog

last but not least, cynthia and kt happy birthday again=)

I LEAVE THE BEST FOR THE LAST. COURTESY OF JULIAN CHAN

P.S. MY FACE DAMN COCK

2007-09-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

BItch im starting school in 4 hours time and i can't get to sleep omfg im gonna die during the first day of school. i can't believe the only drinks left in my bloody fridge is 3 bottles of pathetic heineken and i seriously dont expect this drink to put me to sleep. forget it. bloody hell my friend must be laughing at my shit ass school for starting school early and giving me that " oh u have to stay home" face . nvm i used to do that to them so retributiong time =( who gives a damn im gonna treat this one week like a bloody holiday and go out like nobody's business. bad thing is my best friend isn't in the same class as me right now so screw school its gonna get a little more boring damn it. sounds gay but i bet the class will miss u dude. ok end here!!

2007-09-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

blogger got a very big thing against me so my photos are all over the place
anyway those pics are from taipei. anyone intending to go to the place, please go without hesitation. its fun to the core and there are just way too many things to visit, shop,eat,see etc.
too much to write over here but i guess most people already know what we do over there. just wanna share these pictures with everyone.

2007-09-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

OH F-U-C-K

I haven blog for a very long time ok lets start with my buddy's bday!! u did many crazy things but dont worry we still love u hahaha lets keep it discreet. hope the cake is to your liking cause it wasn't easy to bake. took me n sean hours but its worth it i hope.

kah tien will be next so i don't think yours is the worst case scenario HAHA

laughing stock but i wasn't at the scene shit..

haha anyone who wants to see the rest of the pics just talk to me on msn cause we really make him look like a bloody clown. the aftermath of vodka shots. its a big wonder. we have seen drunk people lingering around pubs or clubs, but u guys nv see what my buddy can really do when he is totally drunk. dont worry zhi as i say we still love u hahahaha

ok so on the actual day it was a normal celebration for him and the food was superb but the movie was alright. at least it was a smooth celebration hope u like it bro . we really enjoyed the buffet and i love the oysters!!

2007-08-25T14:51:00.000-07:00

andFINALLY!!!!
exams over but im quite screwed im rather prepared to repeat at least one module thats for damn sure cause i really ran into alot of bad luck due to studying the wrong things!! OMFG and they came out the easier stuff. so im damn ass screwed for sure i can get my ass kicked by my parents anytime when the results are out.

OK lots of fun after exams, before exams. went to ernest house to study on 2 days and ended up being a lightbulb and was publicised as a dick on carmen's blog hahahaha so guys please dont ever play that video on her blog i kinda look stupid there.please with a capital letter P.

ok. had 2 zouk sessions with my buddies. lots of fun. knew many new people. clement and kelvin, pretty nice guys and yeap it sure as hell was fun but lets skip the dancing part i hate that.
pics pics pics!!

oh fuck i think i become fairer
BRIDGET please smile moreexclassmate jenny!!!
nice hair anyway HAHAHA

this is miss koay
my exclassmate as well
seems more like a reunion than a clubbing session to me.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY BROS!!!!

and BIG THANKS TO CARMEN FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO PLACE THE UPLOAD PICTURES PROPERLY!

2007-08-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

ok the only word that is possibly coming out from my mouth. im fucking tired. this week was alright. bridget's bday on thursday. happy b'day to u again!! went to meet julian on wednesday before the krunk event at sentosa.
let the pics do the talking im way too tired to type man

CHUI KIA'S B'DAY

FALL!!

ok hopefully she enjoyed it
too tired to blog man
good luck to everyone for their up coming exam!!

Broken this fragile thing now
I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't give you a reason

Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't get up when you're gone

2007-08-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

all thats left
pieces of the life i had before
When I can't find my way
And I get lost in you
When I don't have the faith
When I don't know what to do
I feel I can't make it through
theres nth left
not even to salvage
You are my light
You're my everything
In a place of chaos you're the
One thing that brings me peace
I'll give my heart, I'll give my all
but is there anything
that can be done to keep this true
guess nothing really works out

2007-08-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHA
SISTER IS BACK TO KICK SOME ASS
LOOK AT HER
SOME HOT SHIT YO
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I DARE TO SAY SHE IS DAMN HOT
HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCKING GEEK
CUTE SIAL JIE JIE
HAHAHAHAHAHHA

OK THIS IS HOT
AND I SAY THIS
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
JUST THIS PIC HAHAHA

DIFFERENT VIEWS!!
FATTY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OK im being bad but i do love u sis. i really do man hahaha.
but im just too happy to see so many cute pics u took
hope u had a great time over there
but u majiam had a 360 degrees change
hahahahha ok but i will get used to it
love ya

2007-08-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

a depressed soul i'll always be
everyone will always see
i will be strong
its the future right now
it's going fast
it may be simple
things are definitely hard to express
and it keeps me living another day
sometimes
i drown in deep thoughts of how things used to be like
my chest was shut tight
complete with purity
it's been a bad day
i'll try letting it not show
and another day
i'm just trying to let it go

i really want so much to open your eyes
cos i need you to look into mine

2007-07-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

useless things to do when you are bored at home
u can try looking up the dictionary at every word that u see here
99% of the words used here, way too extreme and profound.
enjoy!

* Monologue from V for Vendetta.
"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vangquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of **voliton. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." *

From the moment that I looked into your eyes, all of my life I thought I'll be there by your side, I wish I'll took the time to find the words to say.

2007-07-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

I can't recognise this place. The endless road without a stop sign. Can't even find a stranger this time. Why am I still talking to myself. Hoping you will have the keys to my cell. Every song might calm the weather. But it just draws me deeper. How do I get out of this. I think, I never will .

2007-07-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

I see that you're in love, I know it's not with me. But i don't want the truth to haunt my memory. My feelings were all for you.Although it didn't show.Now i realize that you're no longer mine.But i'm hoping that the pain will ease in time.Although you're leaving, i won't say goodbye.Because i know you're here with me inside.

2007-07-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

OH WHAT A WEEKEND!!
damn tired. lets accumulate.
ok i pon sch on wed and thurs basically cause my attendence is basically too clean so i had to do something about it before the exam starts.FREE TICS FOR MY WIFE IS A GANGSTER. and it was a funny show.the next day, ok peiling acc me to get my gucci stuff thanks for that buddy. i realised how late and last minute it was but thanks man! clubbing AGAIN on friday. damn u guys really need to limit yourself. and just when i thought he was long gone, sean u came over to club with us! nice seeing u again bro. queue for harry's last book with viknesh aft clubbing and definitely i think its kinda dumb. they had cheerleaders, assholes acting like the whole of hogwarts. u see fake harry,hermione,ron,hagrid,dumbledore & many many more. imagine seeing this ppl with a cheenah face. just for one book have to make until so grand i really respect them. worst still 7.01 am was the release of the book. u hear ppl screaming as they approach the counter like as if the book will fly away if they dont scream and run. ok no offence to all fans out there but this whole scenario seems like david beckham just came to singapore but no its all for a book. COOL SHIAT.
JENNY'S bday on sat as well but didnt club at night with them cause im totally broke.
happy birthday gal! aft 10 years i cant believe im celebrating bday with u.
but hope u enjoyed. best wishes
meet hongwei and the rest aft that!

ok nvm tired like mad pictures time

white dog cafe before my wife is a gangster
bridget took this pic
trying to act like a photographer
but no i still respect peter parker

miss teo and me.
this is 2007 not 2005
so dont misunderstand guys

ZOUK

boat ride

haagan daz with hong wei and the rest
guys hong wei did this with his fingers
show some respect =x

2007-07-16T07:29:00.001-07:00

hands getting itchy finally had the time to fucking blog man!! no more tests and the exam awaits us!! power i like. okok here goes. last weekend was a blast. really. i can't believe 3 panadols can do wonders but who cares most importantly i passed my presentation so fri 13 did end peacefully. but it was a rough day for me on fri basically. i can't believe i lost 19 bucks !! damn....
ok skip that. carmen's bday on sat, it was alright basically only that i don't know much ppl there but i wish u did enjoy your day my old friend. so let me see, i meet danny and co. aft the bbq thingy at queens and of course it started off very intensed. well u guys know what happen but lets keep it discreet and i hope friend's will be better off ya. ok so pics time!!

carmen's bday!
so basically we only talk among ourselves on that day
just the 4 of us HAHA

nv better!
just laugh at eileen
i know u guys can see her lungs from the pic

wherever you are
tonight girl
i'll see you in my dreams

2007-07-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

WAH CHUIIIII
fucking tired knn buey tahan. came back from town not long ago, met joe muhamad and jackson. wah fucking chui the cb CRS do until my head want to burst knn eh. my brain cells like basically dead and i cant think anymore. went to chill at cuppage. played abit of pool than came home. intended to do more CRS but fuck damn tired. shit man i cant help saying fuck cause today is really fucked.
saturday die. got presentation. my legs will start to fucking wobble like mad. and im nt fucking prepared for this fucking presentation. i want to kick june wee's ass seriously for making us the first group to present. nabei my libei teng until donno where. nicotine rush until my nostrils come out orh orh 1.
somehow i think all this tests suck like mad , well i screwed my c-programming lab test. no output no results i can go fly kite already. text files suck. screw u c-programming for being the dumbest invention ever. if i die i make sure u die along with me.__
OHHH weird surprise i saw brenda today and i felt uneasy joking with her cause she had a friend who kept staring at me with those ugly eyes. she looks kinda hot but no her eyes suck. maybe my forehead is stained with the word "fuck ur mother cb". ok cut that off but she didn really stare actually i exagerrated(or however the fuck the dict spells it) but yeah that kinda look. pisses me off. ok fine look down on me go ahead. u can read my forehead again i will write ur name beside ur mother cb.
damn im feeling very aggrevated(however the fuck the dict spells it again) my eng is failing me time and time again. i think i need to read a book. i wish i had the hands of JK rowling.

this is a message to MR teo: please remember every word and sentence u say, its irritating when u assume otherwise.

2007-07-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

ok i went to pulau ubin on saturday. was super tired on that day so here goes.
was over at HW's place
he is feeling down so decided to make my way down and thats why im screwed at pulau ubin.
we cycled basically the whole area and it was actually very hectic but kinda fun in a way.
not really in the mood to type so lets invite some pictures in

this is huiting
she looks like she got a bra as her shades
dont worry u look cool.

the group photo at the jetty before we took a boat ride to ubin
dont laugh at my pose my legs kinda weak that day

mr malaysia
if there was ever mr malaysia universe
trust me i will see him advertise for tongkat ali one day

invasion of privacy.
justin and i was actualy having fun.

ok this looks lame.
but spot the diff.

ok its a once in a lifetime activity.
so here's the invitation

boats!!

and clubbing at night.
it was a hell of a day.

so it was a boring day
went out for some fun

2 special guests that day. peiwen and joey.
time to slp. !!

2007-07-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry.

it feels great.
nv felt better for 2 months.
and it will never be enough.
cause it appears to be something common.
that happens after every bundle.
i wish i didn't know so much.
its always right in front of me.
it stinks .. pretty badly.
im trying to live with it.

and i want u so bad.

2007-07-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

desire. is it a desperate thing?
but i guess its just a simple thing i need.
something so simple,
which i threw away
and i sulk like a fucking baby everyday,
trying to find a way out of this.
is this the end of it all?
i hope not.
the times we shared
the tears we cried
i can never forget
and if u ever ask me to give up again
i can only say
my heart doesn't want to
i just can't
and i'm sorry if i made it difficult for u
its the only reason why
i want to give this up

2007-07-03T09:06:00.001-07:00

AND THEY CALL US THE HOMOS

WE ARE FULL OF SHIT

AND WE ARE MADE UP OF GAYS

AND PERHAPS BRIDGET IS A LESBIAN

BASICALLY WE LOVE HOMOS

WE LOVE OUR LOGO

THIS REPRESENTS US!!!!!

2007-07-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

ok totally shag. went for running after class today. tried to keep fit for the first time in my life. the people at the park were totally weird and glaring at one another i donno why but its starting to freak me out cause im staying at tiong bahru. and it sucks to know many weird people stay around me. ok so fine i went to crystabelle and i haven studied my engineering materials. that sucks. its a fucking retest. im so gonna lick balls to achieve some decent grades.

i introduce some of my ex classmates
she is a nurse. pretty and fat.
but i love her.
and she went songs of the sea without me.
so finger for u __
but i still love u.
very lovely isn't she.
they call her ah lye.
i call her jasmine with a gay voice.
its called seduction.

this is fiona.
she is big and white.
definitely im screwed if i piss her off.
so this is me.
a chill running down my spine.
ok no hard feelings.

i will introduce the rest soon cause i seldom take pics with fiona and jasmine.

SOME RANDOM PICS
peiling's hand
very bonny
and she is nt feeding me
cause thats her favourite snack

wanna see cynthia emo
here u go
not bad right
look left at peiling's face
and try your best not to laugh

and afterall. it was fun

ok TEST TIME
GUYS PLEASE DONT LAUGH AT MY EYE BROW. IT SUCKS I KNOW. BUT I DIDNT NOTICE ANYTHING WHEN I FACE THE MIRROR. THE CAM HATES ME!

2007-07-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

MOS.
SUCKED.
BIG.
TIME.
BORING. and its fucking buang. it was a very buang day also.
its alright hopefully they are happy with the pics.
played basketball with danny and the rest on that day as well. went for lunch after that and went to minds cafe. i missed the last 2 activities they had . and they went for seesha and movie omg my favourite. went to meet kt and des at TB than went to clinic with ram and 2 guys.

pics of the day.
hopefully not gay-ish
she is a chui kia

this is lame but looks nice in a way bros

sup hong wei

random pics

pundeh

cool shiat

cheryl i put this for a funny reason dont ask why

walking on sunshine

sup homies

it makes the place darker

reunion

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE DAMN CAM WHY DOES MY FUCKING EYE BROW LOOK SO THICK. FUCK

2007-06-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

i dont wanna make u sway

2007-06-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

bangkok gifts. so many people went to bangkok this holiday. cynthia kt and cheryl. anyway thanks for the gifts. some pics to share.

chang beer from kt

lighter from cheryl

and cynthia gave me sea weed but im too hungry so i finished without taking a pic of it. but dont worry i deeply appreciate. thanks guys. study time!!!

2007-06-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

the new guy(boss)

enjoy

trust me i love them

looking ugly in shades

it was a pretty fun day for the guys at zouk. well i didnt really enjoy it cause i dont know why i just hate the idea of it maybe. a new guy came along this time. filthy rich and i think he had too much to spend. sharing some of the pictures over here.

holidays ended. 2 weeks past very quickly. hell is about to break loose again. im gonna start missing her again. im gonna start having sleepless nights. i wish i can stop all this. im nt in control anymore. i lost it.

2007-06-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

had the time to post finally. boring week cause the thought of having 2 tests next week sucks. and the thought of having a test on friday until 6.10pm makes it even worst. ok forget it. went studying with cynthia and her very smart friend. her memorising skills is totally awesome. ok forget abt that. went sentosa this week also. and had a sun burn without a tan face. thats stupid.

i browsed through everything, and something striked my mind at the sight of something which seemed to be forgotten. guess it made things worst. i feel bad i should. shows exactly how much i never cherish u from the start. i want u so much. its way too deep.

2007-06-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

had a long and busy week. zhi had to shop has ass off and he buys stuff without even thinking even the ugly ones. i donno why haha. went to club on wednesday. today suppose to club again but gotta stay over grandma's place. also went for zhi and kt's "training" in the middle of the night and trust me its god damn tiring.

2007-06-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

and now i'm lost
lost forever
and this is going nowhere

12

2007-06-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

ok tests. crappy tests. i failed my engineering materials but i don't know abt my c-programming. damn i hope i can pass that bloody test and its so damn bloody hard.
aft hols got two more test. still must study fuck man. damn tired. had a good rest last night finally and i couldn wake up even after zhi gave me 20 miss calls in addition to a few from my mum.
had 2 KTV sessions with julian for the pass 2 days and its alright. kinda tired though but tried my best to sing. joined kt bridget and des for prata. thats all abt it. time to crash again.

dead

2007-06-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

dead tired. acc julian go buy his stuff go his house straight away crash.. too tired to even move about until my boss came. ate a little at his place and went to meet kt and co. for another zouk session. sorry guys if i was a little irritating. im not feeling that well so i didn't feel like going at all.

----

2007-06-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

im sorry i talked about this all the time. im sorry i know everyone has the right to nag or scream at my face for being annoying. i just don't know what to do anymore. my heart is weak right now. i can't think of anything other than her. im stuck. but its just that i really can't do anything about what my heart really wants right now. remember the sms. it will explain everything. sorry my friend. i hope u understand what im going through. im still thankful u r there to talk to me.

----

2007-06-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

is it really necessary to give up? just because she wants me to?
what happens if i choose not to? does she freak out or does she ignore me totally?
can i do anything right now to save myself from everything? just because i still love her and i think she knows.
being friends, does it help solve everything? maybe in the long run.
can i have u back again? and i guess its near impossible right now.
do u still have feelings for me? i really hope u do.
can i try having u back one more time?
do i stand a chance? do i deserve a chance?
i want this to happen like it used to happen. i want u to feel so much more love than before. i want u to have this feeling for as long as ever. i want u to see only me in your life. upon everything i regretted. i vow to make everything i said to be true. i want u more than anything else in this world.

--

2007-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

its 4am right now. i'm doing nothing. i'm done trying to study when i know i can't. i can't find the mood to study anymore. my mind is so filled with the flashbacks of our memories. it used to be sweet, really sweet. your love brought me something very extraordinary. and that is something only my heart can explain. i drown myself to study everyday, i tried to pretend i was myself in front of everyone else, i nv felt shittier in my life. i need u so much. please dont go i can't and im not prepared to see u go. i don't wanna mess things up by letting my emotions take control of me. your postcards mean the most to me. the words written on it makes me feel so much alive. but no. that was before. it feels like hell if i read it again. i dreamed of u, i cried in my sleep, was it a nightmare or a sweet dream i wonder. why does the thought of u take control of everything. i asked myself how did i end up loving u so deeply? i guess nobody knows. not even myself. and here in my heart theres a picture of her. i really wish i can tell u how much i love u everytime u strike my mind. and it happens to me all the time.

---

2007-06-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

tiring day of course. dealed with 2 people today. love my clot tee god damn much. business's good. but next week will be hell. test test test coming. tormented.

being anyone but a lover. its time to change that.

comes and go

2007-05-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

and in love, i will never ever believe that it comes and go. because i found u, u made me feel this way, no others did. it was only for u. i didn't force myself to feel this way. i didn't force myself to hold on. i didn't force myself to love u still. i believe it happens naturally. and how i wish if i turn back time, i want to be a part of u again and i want u to be the last to come. i will never let u go. i can't.

living in denial

2007-05-31T02:54:00.000-07:00

dont lie it makes things worst. well i think i can roughly assume everything that is going on. quit shitting around. its better to hear the truth. and its definitely better to take things slowly for me right now.
gonna have alot of test next week so screw it. gonna study i guess if i can

i'll remember you

2007-05-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

first time in my life i have seen a workshop fucker act so man but wth he talk to me like one fucking piece of shit gay. he even asked me out for coffee one day with a weird grin on his face. omfg im so gonna die in SP. eh maybe if i licked his balls a little my grades would go up but fuck it im not gonna fucking do it even if it will happen. shit hole. fucking gay. buey tahan
also found out something ugly today, my class that oi yin( i used to name him ah beng cause he really looks like one talks like one but doesn act like one). ok so he really cheated in that CRS forum thing. got nothing much to comment about it. just wondering how the class would have felt.

signal fire!

2007-05-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

the feeling of going back to sch wasn't that boring afterall. today everyone was lethargic. all last min do e learning until the face like ghost. i myself also abit shag.

stuck in my heart

2007-05-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

didn't do finish e learning. i doubt my class people also never do much. good one guys hi5.
i left 4 hmwk. two can copy tmrw

baby i can't live without u.

the pictures damn ugly dont put can

2007-05-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

dont like the way we are. it feels shitty and definitely uncomfortable. being friends ain't that bad. for a moment i thought it was really easy. nv was it. has my fears gotten me into this? me not talking me being ignorant me having no self esteem anymore.
i guess its common to lose all hope right now. accepting it is bad enough. but when it comes to letting u go, nothing beats the feeling.

tearin' up my own heart

2007-05-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

e learning homework not much done yet. damn sian dont feel like doing.
i miss u.
and i can't stop loving u.

tired sia

2007-05-24T06:25:00.000-07:00

just woke up. slept from 3-9 buey tahan last night didnt sleep and went to CIP straight. feels like shit man to think abt the shit i have to do inside the library office. some dumbass admin work. full of crap man.

celebration

2007-05-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

des bday today. nth much. hog's breath or breathe cafe watever the spelling is but the food really suck to the core. not much of a diff compared to new york new york. than for a long movie. my backside damn pain i admit. my classmates keep calling me abt CIP so damn irritated but its alright HAHA. went to zouk as well. no space as usual cause everyone like squeezing and its ladie's night. makes the crowd worst

hey just wanna say that my heart hasn't given up on u yet. i know how much u wanna be friends and im still trying. i still love u deeply inside. i will do my best.

sister HO

2007-05-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

dear elayne ho u r so missed by me and its weird without u at home so pls come home quick at least u are the best person i can really lean on and talk to at home. i love u sis. take care

tennis

2007-05-22T09:02:00.001-07:00

tennis again. last week and this week. not so much fun this week but the part when we were taking photos appeared to be kinda fun. i myself did a few pull ups at the play ground and realised how weak i really am right now. ok lets not talk abt that anymore. went to anchorpoint to fill my stomach a little and drank alot of water and aft that went to clementi to meet zhi and co. . today was fine but just abit tired. the make up lesson was extremely boring and pointless. didn listen much but i did listen abit abt the fundamental maths cause im totally blur abt what the hell she was teaching last week. full of crap phd teacher.
happy birthday to u des!! hope u have a great time yea!! wish u all the best in everything u do.

i want us

2007-05-21T11:15:00.000-07:00

and i have been wanting this for so long. its not only to satisfy my heart's desire. but to repent and change also to do whatever i can to have me back in ur heart. and i repeat this to myself everyday . i blog to myself everyday. cause its how i feel everyday. still hanging on for hope.

e learning!

2007-05-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

staying home for one week straight and do homeworks online. that sucks alot and im abt to rot very soon at any point of time. very soon abt a couple more weeks to go im having a freaking common test. not motivated no mood. damn it i have to study soon. the fundamental maths like getting harder and harder and she teaches us like as if we have very good memory. she rush through the topic like as if we are familiar with that topic. damn sucks like mad. tomorrow got make up lessons don't feel like going la fuck.

please i want it to come true one day i reallyhope

2007-05-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

and its all about regretting. its normal that it happens. people come and go. but i haven left. not at all since last year. and i really want this cause its only in u whereby i can see what my future brings. people may think im stupid cause we have only been together for 2 months. but before this 2 months. aft i fell for u. until now. ups and downs we been through. and there goes my terrible mistake due to a numb feeling and thats what caused me to be who i am right now. shag depressed and feeling really horrible everyday. its been haunting me eeveryday and i know that i cant let this things haunt me anymore. everyone wants me to move on. including her. i know how much she wants me to get over it. but i really dont want to. cause i really want to be with her. no doubts about it. yes i may sound convincing. but i really wish for a chance so that i can prove that everything i said is true. its up to her whether or not i deserve it but i dont think so anymore. i see the way things are going on right now. i really dont deserve it.
the girl i really want to be with is u. and i guess i will have this feeling in me for a long time. i nv felt so shitty in my life before. at the sight of her right now. i feel like breaking down. my heart seems to be detoriating. and thats how she felt 3 months back or maybe worst. now its my turn.
i want to be that guy for u. i really want that. i want to prove that im not lying. i want to prove that all this is real. i want to prove that my love for u is that strong. and i want to make a difference.

highly anticipated friday

2007-05-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

having e learning week and no school. kinda shiok. des birthday also next week. gonna spend a hell lot so im going on a temporary diet. nvm can keep me slim for a week lik better than nothing. watched spiderman 3 for the third time today with julian and co. . damn venom is so damn cool. his costume is so much alike from the comic strips except cooler by abit cause it looks real. this week was hell. couldn slp well at all. and i still need to find a way to get out of this. something which i dont want and cant let go of. still have to try. somehow i wish that it could start all over.

i need this, i need u

2007-05-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

bring us back where our love first started

once more? theres nv gonna be

2007-05-15T03:21:00.000-07:00

i read through the sms. i couldn help it. its lik lookin at her walk away and going on with no more second chances. feels like a living hell. and i myself. cannot do anything about it. someone please invent a fucking time machine i want to make this right. i want to change and do it in front of u. but i guess no point thinking about this as i can only dream. i love u too god damn much.

tell me how?

2007-05-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

how am i gonna find another one like u. another one who can give me the same feeling. cause i guess no one could. even if i find a nice girl. i don't think its possible for me to have the same feeling. there's nth abt beauty that satisfies me or my heart. but theres just something about u that makes me go crazy over. every day of my life. and i guess thats the thing im looking for. something which i think i can find but i just dont want to. cause its u that i want.
at this point of time. i guess i have to get used to feeling of being lonely. i only have my friends to play or joke around with. somehow lacking of love doesn mean much. but when it comes to u. i realise thats something i dont lack. thats something i lost. and u. mean alot to me. IF there is another chance. i will make sure the love. will sustain. from the bottom of my heart. im saying this. and its the only think i can pray for. i yearn for.
sorry that im saying all this crap. i just cant lift my head up right now. u r still in my mind since the day i fell for u.

happy?

2007-05-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

why do people always say "as long as u r happy, its better to let go and go ahead with your life"
maybe up till now. i still dont understand. somehow i still feel. the empty feeling inside of me sucks. and its hard to let go although they will be happier out there.

its part and parcel of life

2007-05-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

just learn to forget. something i could easily do. just put my mind somewhere else not including eyeing on other girls cause that wouldn't help. sometimes its just too hard. i tried working my ass off last time. i tried relying on someone else but i just end up doing bad things. i tried talking i tried having fun i tried being happy i tried being a retard i tried being emo. and all this things. including being yourself. wouldn't get me anywhere. i had this mind set last year. i wanted to settle down, to love and not to leave anymore. i found the one for me. i blew off my chance. or in fact my best chance to settle down. and why would i say that. because i didn't realise until i lost it. and being remorseful. than again. brought me nowhere. the love of my life. although i did have a couple of ex before. and nothing beats the 2 months with u. and nothing beats the pain im having now. overwhelmed with guilt, and sometimes i feel like giving up on myself.cause no one. except me. could do something stupid like that. i need time to change. to stand up again. to be someone. who can appreciate the good things i have in my life. and never to throw this chance away anymore. and i guess i got a good tongue lashing from all my friends before. all my good friends. they wouldn't pity me for now. cause yes they know i deserved it. at least i guess thats what they are thinking. if i dont change now. i guess in future i will do something stupid again. which is think is rather dumb.
so even though im out of her life. im secretly praying for a second chance. and i know. there wouldn be. just take it as a dream or a wish which can never be fulfiled. but i guess its ok to dream sometimes. i will take the memories, i will take the letters and carry along with me in my life. whenever i think of it. whenever i see it. i can feeling something telling me. its like an alarm telling me to wake up my idea. telling me to do the right things. telling me not to be too rush in my decision. telling me to treasure the person u love. telling me to sacrifice and not to be self centered. to think twice. and many more. and even though we are just friends. u are still impt in my life. maybe i just can't show it. but definitely someone that can never be forgotten.

without u

2007-05-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

just cant imagine this. i can sense it coming. i pretend not to know. i know i couldn prepare myself for anything. no matter how much i know. i just pray that u can see me in a different way. cause im dying for ur love. i did this to myself. and i won't ever do this to myself ever again. to love and to cherish before its gone. and i will take it as a lesson for me. i believe nobody can take this excruciating pain. esp in ur heart. people commit suicide, cry, cut themselfs jus to free themselfs from the pain. its a nasty feeling. maybe she is right. its been too long. i shouldn have taken the feeling i had for granted. u left a mark in my mind. u taught me many things. most importantly. u gave me the best feeling i ever had. and when i think back. i really enjoyed eeverytime im with u. ur hugs and kisses gave me a feeling that cannot be replaced. and the times we had outside playing joking laughing or whatever. everything esp my love for u, makes me wanna come back to u.. dont worry u still got my respect. let's be friends.

nap

2007-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

nap was good. slept from 4-9. couldn help it damn ass tired. now my whole body ache like hell. damn im feeling weak. class was boring. today couldn find the lecture hall. she damn last minute somemore. sian. gotta prepare for tmrw alr. lots of hmwk not done.

stopped there

2007-05-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

it seems to be stuck there, does this mean we are gonna be like this. just friends. maybe this is what u really want. just want u to know. my heart is staying with u. i hope im not the guy giving u the stress. sorry for everything. right now and the past.

wrong time

2007-05-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

shit fuck why am i sick?? fuck it

and i say it again

2007-05-07T02:49:00.000-07:00

for the 2 months we have been together. i waas a fool nt to cherish it. i promise if we were together again, i will be your last. and i want u to be my last. leaving u was the most dreadful thing i ever did to myself. i will love u like no other can.

i miss u

2007-05-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

meet des and talked for a while than headed to fish and co with zhi today. after that went to meet danny. was a boring day. as usual im missing her. just like everyday. come back to me baby cause i really love u so

touch my heart.wat's really going on

2007-05-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

no mood do experiment today so basically me joe and melissa copy everyone's answer and left the damn room. nobody took attendence and those who were absent also got their work done by their own friends. damn i shud have ran away from experiment. engineering material sucks today. so damn sophisticated. pascal triangle sucks as well. haha. but it looks quite easy.

i have seen many situations. i have seen my own friends before falling for the same gal. nothing good usually happens to them. i ask myself. do i have a phobia or is there anything im afraid of? sometimes yea im scared me and kt may turn out nasty no matter how fair this will be. im afraid to go forward to her. i can feel a barrier in my mind whenever i talk to her on msn. i feel so lost and i lose my mind whenever i talk to her. wats going on i really don;t know anymore. i want her badly. i say this all the time and i feel this all the time. but i feel my fears overcoming me. if this is gonna continue maybe i won;t ever get her back.

you r everything that i wanted

2007-05-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

can time heal everything? can time bring us back to before? can time let us be together again? u r all that i hope for.
today kena tua by 2 buyers. damn angry. damn tired. fuck singaporeans. all same pattern. no money dont ask or act interested knn. and to that china bastard. don act interested end up dont answer my sms or call. fcuk ur whole family. singaporeans wake up ur fcuking idea.

look back pls

2007-05-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

sch was crap. today was relaxed. but miss june had a little pms and she also got a phobia of ppl chatting in msn. when we requested to add her on msn as well she declined but i could tell from her face she can never stand joe's nonsense haha.
oi yin that bitch u had better nt go nyp. i rather u work hard and become top student perhaps u can guide me along haha..

hey,
rmb i told u how i felt abt u. u made me feel like i was with xuling. well i guess its true. cause i can't find a way to get over this. u said that we would learn to get over with this and move on. i can't. i swear to god i can't. everything's incomplete. without u. even though xuling wasn't the one for me before. i wish u always were. and i hope its u i will live my life through. and i wanna be right there beside u. giving u the joy happiness and everything u want from me. just hoping its nv too late

chances?

2007-05-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

maybe she mistaken me. maybe she thought i wanted to have another chance to be with her. yea she is right i wanted that. but what i want first is nt be bf and gf. the chance i want and yearn for is to just try hanging out with her again. if she doesn lik it than it may be the end of us? maybe so but it seems too late to take any action for the moment. i want her badly but i nv did anything. i have to pay the price. but still im nt prepared. i cant lose u

maybe its really too late

2007-04-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

so wat do i get from being afraid. yea perhaps its really too late for me. maybe cause i was many steps behind kt. im nt mentally prepared for anything yet. i cant stand the feeling. i cant believe i spouted everything to her ytd.

rot

2007-04-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

slack and slack and rot my day away.

how man?

2007-04-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

i cant feel myself at times. i cant face anyone. i cant face yijun cause i lied but i deeply appreciate the things she did for me. i cant face bridget especially for being a jerk. i cant face danny cause i betrayed his trust. i donnno wat am i supposed to do. this people other than yijun, are damn ass impt to me. danny i rmb we used to despise each other b4 sec 3 and i really wont forget how great a friend u r. i wont forget the basketball days and the hanging out. i hope for one more chance. and as for bridget. i just wish for one last chance so that i can change myself to someone u have always wanted me to be. and i can promise u smth. that my heart only has space for u. and only u. only the one i love and the only 1 i want to keep.
danny its hard for u to trust me right now. but i guess we have alot of talking to do. i know u r pissed. i can tell from ur voice.

past mistakes

2007-04-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

many people ask. what happened to yijun? yea something happened. i guess i treated her like a second layhoon and i treated her the way i treated layhoon. and i guess she misunderstand many things i did. it was a long story. she was one of those who was willing to help me get through many things aft the broke up. ya i guess i did have that little feeling for her but nt very deep. cause i was still thinking about bridget. yea for 2 months aft i lost bridget. its always been bridget. i didnt say this so that people think its a trick to get her back but ya its true. i mean yea i shouldn replace yijun as a second layhoon who used to care and talk to me. worst part was that i lied to her when i was feeling sad all the while. cause i couldn stop thinking abt bridget. to all my friends. i also lied to u when i said i alr forgotten abt bridget in the first place. when u asked me whether i wanted her back. i have always wanted to say a yes but i thought maybe it was just a feeling that wouldn last.. i thought that kinda feeling would go away soon so i told u guys i wont go back to bridget. but now that i lost yijun and layhoon. seems like i only have this blog and maybe zhi,julian or kt to talk to.
i thought to myself also. how did that numb feeling came about when i wanted to break with bridget. and why that sudden urge of getting her back just feew days later. what was i thinking about? something that cannot be comprehensible by maths or science. whatever it is. i know wat i really want right now. and i cant remove that fear of trying to get her back.
layhoon hope u dont misunderstand wat i said in my previous post. i said forget it cause i dont wanna talk abt it. but i guess both of us need to cool down. i really still cant forget how close we used to be and i know how impt u really are to me as a friend. i miss the times we used to hang out. i believe the bond is there but i dont know whats happening thats drifting us apart.

this is it

2007-04-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

i look at u and sometimes i just feel like holding your hand and look u in the eye. i miss that feeling when i was with u. the way u hug me. i still can remember. most importantly i remember the type of feeling u gave me. and it felt great. cause i felt so loved. hais. wat done is done.

if i ever get u back, i want u to feel the way i feel when i was with u. i want to give u a better feeling than this and i want u to be my everything and i also want to be your everything. this time its true. i will nv ever take back my words. and i will nv leave u.

fri again!!

2007-04-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

yea its a friday again. damn it should be a lovely day to hang out and have fun. make urself happy and stuff like that.. do things u like with your friends because weekday none of such things can ever happen anymore cause its no more a holiday and its damn obvious im talking nonsense cause its common sense. whatever it is. this one of the fridays which i had no mood. thanks to u layhoon. i really nv expected u to be the first. for 3 or maybe 4 years of my life aft knowing u i trusted u so much. i cant believe. u know something i shouldn have told u stuff like that. i thought that maybe friends and bf are 2 different issues. but i guess u do trust him as well so i cant really blame u for telling him. i take back my words for now. anyway i dont see us going anywhere. u r a ghost u dont seem to exist in my life and it pisses me off when u tell me i dont call u aft u and shaun got together. i really had nothing much to say about it. so i guess. maybe yes u r still impt to me. perhaps the only girl i trust so much other than zhi. maybe for now anything regarding shaun i wont speak a word anymore. lets just wait for nature to take its cause. i shall stop all the insulting cause its nt gonna work no matter how much i say. damn it man u nv know how impt u r to me. but lets just forget it.

and on the other hand i thought abt bridget. nv felt like giving up to get her back. and its only u i wanna be with. until the day i know u have alr forgotten me. which i think alr happened but i wanna take my chances for the moment. just wanna let u know the happiest part of my day everyday is to talk to u on msn every night. cause its the only way i dare to talk to u.

im tired

2007-04-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

super tired. cannot tahan alr.

tired tired!!

2007-04-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

sian today very tired. learned about lathe machine today. its very different from the one i used in qss but wth its so damn complicated but kinda simple when i got the hang of it. slept a little while doing a character development project just now.. feels like crap though.

just give me one more chance

2007-04-23T02:01:00.000-07:00

i just need one more shot. i believe i can love u like nobody can. i need u bridget. i love u. please. i know u r caught in a difficult situation right now. breath and stay calm alright.. i will be here when u need me i promise. i wont be like before. everything i expressed to u about my love was true i nv realised it. its all true. i was wrong to dump u cause i thought i was sick and tired abt everything.. i thought the numb feeling would stay in me for as long as ever. i was so wrong. i need to ammend everything i need to compensate i know cause i love u and i made a horrible mistake.

today ended at 4. damn boring day i was glad it ended early. and i haven seen u for 2 days. i miss u. i bought a dust coat for workshop tmrw. and i saw sockz on the way home today. ok lucky for me i didnt see any familiar year 3 around my school. went to food court 3 to eat today. hell yes there was good food . finally something tasted pleasant in the school. damn food court 4 can kiss my ass i dont know how the hell they cook their food. even my grandma can cook better than them.

damn

2007-04-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

WHATS THE WORLD COMING TO MAN!!

wat will she do about it?

2007-04-22T08:30:00.001-07:00

bridget, i know there r certain things u alr know. maybe its due to ur sharp sixth sense and yea its damn true my best friend has fallen for u. u dont wanna choose. and maybe there is nth we can do abt it. maybe wat u want is not to choose and we all remain as friends and go out together. basically i know its gonna be hard for me. and i myself also know its nt gonna be easy for kt but maybe its just that we ran out of luck.

today kinda suck. i was not in the right state of mind so i tried to act crazy for the whole day hoping that nobody knew wat was going on. i cant hide much longer. i guess one day i might eventually freak her out with the truth. or maybe nt.. she might jus ignore me n pretend nth happened.. damn it sucks to regret. its gonna be a long week.. when can i see u again. i miss u